not really news worthy

I haven't updated in awhile. I haven't really been thinking about much as of lately life has been good. I was talking to my cousin the other day because he texted me at like 340a and the text simply read "i love coke" and i know he was texting me that early in the morning to tell me how much he really loved a tasty beverage. Ever since he moved back to my home town things have been on a downward slope for him. Makes me really sad and only reassures me what i already knew that Sonora is no place for the youth to thrive that town will suck you dry and you won't even realize it and when you do its already to late and there is nothing you can do to fish yourself out. I asked him how long he has been doing coke and he said that it was his first time and it made me cringe because i know it won't be his last encounter with it. What could have drove him to try it? Boredom, depression, peer pressure..? I really hope that he decides that it wasn't for him and chooses not to do it again and looks the other way and tries to get some money together to come back out here because houston is his only chance at a real life as long as he can choose the right people to surround himself with. Anywho i guess that is all i have for this post..

my bestfriend. my mother.

I've heard once that in a child's eye mother is god. This is very true i never knew how true this was until i lost my mother to ALS in 2006. My world came crashing down so fast even though i knew it would happen sooner than later. We always hoped for later. My mother and father divorced when i was 6 months old so all i knew was my mother she alone raised me and my 2 sisters. She also had my stepfather although he turned out to be a piece of shit she had him. My mother was a beautiful person strong and amazing. Today i miss her. I wish that i had spent more time with her she left me with great memories no matter how hard we struggled i never went with out my mother always found a way to give us the world. She was our world when ill words fell between my sisters and i my mother would always remind us that we are all each other has so we shouldn't stay mad at each other. She was my bestfriend. Today i miss her..

Baby boy blus

Sunday my son turns one I can't believe that time is flying by. I feel like I just had him yesterday! I am absolutely blessed to have him in my life he makes everyday an adventure. I actually think I may cry lol what a wuss I am. I still have so much to do before Sunday gets here which I refer to as D day haha. I still need to buy ice cream and gift bags and a piñata. What a procrastinator I am it seems as though I have grown a lot after become a mother some things will never change. I am so anxious! I hope I can find everything that I need tomorrow. First order of business tomorrow is go and put my weekly order super early!! On the work note I have been on my game somewhat I yave had minor set backs but I am hopin that I will be able to get into school so that I can quit this dreaded job. In November I will have been with Starbucks for 6 years wow I have given this damn place so much of my life! WTF lol. I can't keep my eyes open I have so much to do tomorrow sleep well

Gaining control

So i spoke to my manager about our "situation", she did nothing but make excuses as to why things are the way they are. I am trying trying to hold on until i hear about another opportunity my sister told me that when God closes one door another opens. I now feel like i am standing in a dark hallway waiting for this door to open, i know i won't be waiting for long. I have faith that i will be able to sever ties with this place and truly feel at peace because i tried really hard to find the joy i used to have working for this place but that dragon of a woman absolutely makes it hard.

I know i have more skills than making lattes, babysitting a bunch of grown people and "counting" money i know that i will rise above this.

On another note the hubby has been talking about finally taking our honeymoon. We have been married for almost two years and have yet to take one. I hope when we do that we go some where amazing :) this is all for tonight i must catch some zzZZzz now.

Treading into the unknown

So i am completely at a cross road here with my job. It has been hanging on by the hinges for a few months now but its clear what i need to do. I am trying to cut myself free of starbucks only because the manager that i have now has completely made me lose my desire to continue on with the company. This week she only gave me 28 hrs! I was shocked when i looked at the schedule i did not expect that much of a drastic drop. For almost two years i have opened that store monday through friday and have not been late once! I have done so much for that store and that manager i feel like my work has completely been ignored because of her personal opinion of me which is so unprofessional. I tried to go through the proper channels to find out what is really going on and if the things that were claimed that she said held any truth but it seems all corporate and upper management did was brush me aside. My district manager did nothing but make feel as if i was reading too much into the situation and some how creating this all on my own that my manager had no ill intentions. Then another bomb drops i looked at my schedule for the following week and low and behold she only gave me 27 hrs when i specifically asked her if she could get me as close to 40 hrs as possible and what does she do dock my hours by 1hr. I was enraged when i look at the schedule i tried to talk to her about it but she gave me nothing and told me the "schedule is not written in blood, i told you we'd talk about it friday" I told her we wouldn't even be having this conversation if she had just given me more than 27 hrs! If this isn't personal then i have no clue what is!

With all of that being said i have applied at a couple of different places and i hope that i get some responses fast because i have no clue how much longer i can hold on at this place. I am trying to hard to not lose my temper and just exploded i pray that i can just wade through the high waters and that when the storm calms i will prevail. i just have no clue what could drive some one to be so crazy and mean to another because they feel threatened and this is a 40 yr old woman i am talking about.

My job is a main concern but so are so many other things! aargh how did i get to this point?

The classics

Aaahhh, the "Classics" how i missed them. Its a rare group of friends that remind me so much of the good times. They also respond to my hippie friends..always with a new piece to talk about or a new idea that they have. Always good times when these kats are around i'm hoping that its not a long time until i see them again!

Now, for my day at the bux let me start with that the morning went off with out a hitch! It was great until my boss II we will call her came in. She is so useless...its almost as if she isn't there. She basically um did NOTHING! Then my real boss came in and things went from mediocre to chaos. She is always so tense and makes everyone around her tense and it makes me sooo anxious! I had to get out of there ...so we finally got the store together and then off to lunch i went then the day slowly got better because i got to draw the chalk board and that meant i got to get off the floor because that lady pretty much makes me wanna hit her! Either way i am tired and i think i am going to nap

Tick tock goes the clock

Times seriously keeps ticking by and nothing is being done my DM aka the hamburgler was suppose to come to my store last week but of course nothing. Partly my fault because i was trying to call him all week and when i finally went to do it i lost the number!! FRICK i suck, oh well i am hoping that he come this week. Tomorrow is suppose to be hell because we are starting something new warming sandwiches among all of the other lame shit we are required to do. I am sure my manager is going to show up early to put a damper in my shift and give me major anxiety like she always does. I feel like i need to take a Xanax or a downer when she is there because she is always high strung and it makes everyone else on edge. Anyway i had to get that off of my chest before i explode! lol Either way today is going to be a good day it is only 12:48 pm and we are waiting for a group of friends to come over that we haven't seen in a LONG ass time :) We cleaned the house up and we decided that next weekend is reserved for some serious cleaning i mean moving furniture and throwing shit away. Maybe a garage soon? ugh those things are so damn stressful! Anywho back to my friends coming by it should be good times we are going to drink and stuff our faces because my honey is going to barbecue! I should probably get to preparing some food or deciding how the menu is going to go! Maybe monday will be the day i find out something is being done, i have a lot of things to talk about with ken because my review was really shitty. After 5 1/2 years i find out that i am mediocre at my job! I got a 2.3 on my review out of a possible 4! Can you believe that shit? I know i am better at my job than that especially since they were at one point considering me a ASM who knows about that anymore? I have posted some applications on line to work at UTH medical school in the medical center hopefully i get at least one call back. I am seriously over working with starbucks if i keep working with that maniac!

Brace for impact

So i finally got my head out of my ass and decided that i can't fully trust anyone at work so i went ahead and reported my store manager to HR. Now all i can do is be ready for whatever repercussions this may have. I am not trying to get anyone fired but this cannot go on with out a third party doing some sort of investigation. Also i am trying to cover my own ass i have a family and a son to feed and i need my job i know that i could easily get another one but i for damn sure am not trying to get fired over something stupid like someone with a personal grudge. On Monday my mgr sat me down and "talked" to me about the free drink thing with my husband but not once did she ever say to me that she was going to write me up. I mean maybe she was but we got interrupted and she wasn't able to squeeze it in but today (Friday) she decides that she needed to write me up and make it official and document it...why 4 days later? And that Thursday a partner called her on the telephone telling her that she maybe need to sit down with me because something was wrong with me and they were "concerned" about me. Like really? Can't i even go one day with working with Alice and not have to have a sit down because someone feels "concerned" about me! Fuck that these people don't care about me in that way. The only friend i have there is T and she is almost gone starting her career.I just know that now that everything is out on the table i feel a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest and all i can do is defend myself and stay on point! I can't let these petty people have a hold on me i will rise above this!

Who are you gonna believe?

Today i began to put together my resume in hopes of pushing myself to look for a new job. I've been with Starbucks for 5 years and i am not sure really if i'm trying to hold on to it because i love what i do or is it because i am too scared of being rejected in the stone cold job hunting world. I am i am qualified for other better paying jobs yet i stay at this hell hole i call a job because i have worked so hard to get to the position i am working on. I for damn sure calling HR i just don't know wether i should use my name or not. Maybe i should just file a claim on her and not really tell them everything at once and let the ball get rolling because she won't know who did it and start to stick her own foot in her mouth, Today T told me that work actually went really good and that AL was being really super nice to her and telling her she missed her and it was just an over all good day aside from the typical drama with the two queen bitches. I mean both of these girls are about a useless as a single sock. They work yes they work but as far as being genuine or sincere neither of these girls posses these qualities. AL must keep them around for entertainment because they most definately pick fights with just about everyone who works there. Well maybe I should think on it for one more night tomorrow mos def will tell and friday too, because she is off tomorrow but works friday i think..either way i need a whole work week with her and see if it really is me that she has a problem with because if so i am going to report her to HR & to the RDM as well as our DM, i will lay everything and my job out on the table because the higher ups really need to know what crap goes on at this store.

Aside from work my home life is going pretty good, we just got cable for the first time in like 6 years! I am stoked i have no idea what to do with all of these channels! hahah i know its lame and sad but this makes me happy :) I mean we completely paid off our TV & laptop and have actually had room in our budget! Emery is growing along nicely he is 8 months old and has two bottom teeth and it super silly already! What a bad kid he is :P. This is all for tonight i have big issues to sleep on.

What to do

For the last 5 years i have peddled coffee for one of the largest coffee companies and i have never had a problem. I find myself a very delicate situation, i have recently come into some very hurtful news. a co worker and dear friend of my called me on the phone in the middle of grocery shopping and unleashed all of this news on me about my manger. I was told that my manager was in a very strange mood and was trying to comfort her and in this conversation she told her a lot of very unprofessional things. She told her how she was glad on of the partners was almost gone and that she couldn't stand her. Then she started on me saying how she couldn't stand my voice or my face and that i was so annoying and that when i am not there things go smoothly. She also went on to say that she hates when i show her or people pictures of my 8 month old son and that it annoys her. Apparently i am the root of all the drama at the store and that everyone has a problem with me and she wants to transfer me out of her store. When i caught wind of all of the things she was saying about me i was floored i couldn't believe what i was hearing. This is the same manager who is training me for an ASM position and i work really closely with her all of the time and not once has she ever displayed some sort of hatred towards me. I am absolutely hurt by all of this and i don't really know what to do at this point. I want to call human resources on her and complain but i am not sure how this will all turn out. Upper management usually sticks up for each other. Maybe i'll sleep on it for one more day.

9:54

And i pretty much should be asleep. Damnit!